Screw med school...

...can't do well no matter how much I study, think I know the material, or feel coming out of the exam.

Magic Cafe....lolz

I posted this as my status on FB: "Filled with more assholes than a butt convention", and every time I log on, I realize how true that statement is.

I definitely should not have bothered to make an account, but at this point I will reach that 50 post mark just to see the secret forums.

In a way, the forum itself is a good place to get some insider information. On the other hand, everyone sans a few people are such absolute pricks it is almost intolerable to talk about anything there. Of course not EVERYONE is a prick; but most of the more prolific posters are just utter jerks wasting my oxygen. If you make an account and spend a bit of time there, you'll see everyone just wants nothing more than to argue about anything.

For instance, there was a thread about a West Memphis shooting which did not get significant news coverage. Some guy posts on it and says it was on national news (which he showed no evidence of), and he doesn't get the point of the thread (rude to being with). I make a post mentioning that I agree with the thread, and cite an example of a recent Florida Mosque bombing that did not get a lot of coverage. The SAME GUY states that NOW THIS THREAD IS GOING TO ATTACK CHRISTIANS.

Uh...what? Now, I know better than to replay to such a troll, but the more I read the thread, the more disgusted I become, and I ultimately just ignore the whole thing.

On another thread, one member posts a review about the Criss Angel magic set. He probably isn't experienced in magic, but clearly likes the set. IMMEDIATELY AFTER, some of the "prolific" posters" suddenly make attacks about him, the set, and Criss Angel. Now, it is supposedly known that Criss Angel uses camera tricks and isn't the greatest magician as he might make himself to be. But seriously? Give the guy a break! He starts with a purchase, he likes it - what is the point of attacking him? Why not just point him in a better direction. Clearly the guy is offended and probably hurt, so he makes one more post explaining himself kindly and then leaves. The attacks and derailment continued without him, alas.

And for the record, that Criss Angel set is not the worst set out there.

Obviously, one should NOT get angry especially by a silly internet forum; however, I had greatly expected different things from the people there, and instead all I can see are rabid animals who can only think of their opinion, or pull the classic "here's my opinion, and I will hereby state it as fact, but merely say it's an opinion". Seriously, these people are in their 40's, and they are acting like internet bullies or completely close-minded imbeciles.

No really, I thought it would be a good place to learn about magic? Oh how naive I was! What you might say is, "it's the internet lulz". But if you're an asshole on the internet, why would that mean you aren't one in real life? Is the rest of the magic world like this?! Considering this is the largest magic forum on the internet...

I think I'll go back to talkmagic.co.uk. Much, MUCH nicer people there.

Here I am...stuck in purgatory.

I like to use the purgatory analogy to describe my medical school life. Not my regular life, because my life is wonderful. But I'm focusing on my med school life.

What is purgatory? It is that place between heaven and hell, temporary punishment for who-knows-how-long, the place you go where you're not great, but you don't belong in hell.

So, let's put this analogy to med school. Heaven is doing extremely well for a given amount of studying. Hell is failing. Where am I? I am in purgatory - neither doing well, nor failing. I am in the average-to-slightly-below-average range.

Unlike purgatory, however, there is no cleansing process, and I am not about to be whisked away into heaven. For any given amount of studying or problem sets I do, I never do well, even average. For some reason, I just can't.

The worst part is, I have few, if any, people I can talk to about this. I do not have connections despite trying to make them actively, and the people I know, well, they are either in heaven or much closer to it than I am. They have been out of purgatory for a while, and are doing well. I have yet to actually meet someone who is in another year that is in my position. And it's not something one can simply ask around about.

However, I know I technically can't complain, since hypothetically there are people who are failing and doing worse than I am (I just don't know who they are, and I don't care much to know). Hence, I am not hell either.

And right now, I have no idea what I can do. I am thoroughly discouraged and my outlook about The Exam (step 1) is bleak to abysmal. I am not sure what to do except sit on this rock under this gray sky.

Hmmm...

So, despite being slightly behind lectures, I've started learning Fiber Optics today. Insanely fun and it's even amusing to me when i do it in front of a mirror. Going to learn a bit more of the linking rings so i could finish it off with a ring-on-rope routine. Fun!

Also I've gotten past the idea that I can't learn the palm because of the holes in my hand, to "Yes, I'm finally going to learn it, here we go." In the midst of Royal Road still!

The interesting things in life...

So, yesterday post-neuro exam, was the first time I ever went to a bar. My drink order was:

1) 7 and 7
2) Irish car bomb (weird name...)
3) Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
4) Kamikaze shot

Really good, though I got a bit dizzy in the end. Still, very relaxing, lots of fun. Afterwards around midnight, Nazir drove us back to the student lounge, where we magically found a huge amount of Blimpie subways of all kinds, with lots of soda. We ate, watched TV, and played some video games on the 360. It was a great time!

Ah, I feel all right, even though the exam was difficult.

Another post about the idiot box...

For those who know me, I absolutely love things related to suspense, horror, thrillers, and crime. Besides the proverbial love of action movies, I will always reach for a scary movie like The Orphange or Let the Right One In (that's how you make a vampire movie, people), Hannibal series movies, etc.

So, I present to you my list of my 5 most favorite crime shows on TV, which is much better than studying at the moment.

5) NCIS - this show is good, but I consider the lesser of my favorites because the characters are funny but not really deep or overly likable. The autopsy doctor is the best, though.

4) Bones - this show is more serious, and can get pretty intense at times. Nothing too special, but if it's on I'm more than happy to watch it.

3) CSI - probably everyone's favorite. The characters are incredibly well thought out, and Grissom and even the new head played by Laurence Fishburne are probably the best heads in any crime show I've watched. Just a really great show.

2) Law and Order: SVU - gruesome, gritty, and the most badass detective (Stabler), this CAN be hit or miss, depending on the outcome of the episodes. I'd venture 90% they are hits, and they are really, really hard-hits.

...and finally...!!

1) Criminal Minds - if you have ever cared about a crime show, you care about Criminal Minds. This is hands down the most intense, the most gruesome, and disturbing of all the modern day crime shows I have ever seen. It delves into not just investigating crimes, but actual standard theories of criminals. SVU does this, but not a lot (BD Wong should get more airtime). Just...absolutely thrilling, very often edge-of-your-seat, and very dark - the darkest of the all crime shows I've seen on television.

Well, back to studying psychiatry! Studying it just bought to mind my love for crime shows and seeing fictional justice, haha.