I like to use the purgatory analogy to describe my medical school life. Not my regular life, because my life is wonderful. But I'm focusing on my med school life.
What is purgatory? It is that place between heaven and hell, temporary punishment for who-knows-how-long, the place you go where you're not great, but you don't belong in hell.
So, let's put this analogy to med school. Heaven is doing extremely well for a given amount of studying. Hell is failing. Where am I? I am in purgatory - neither doing well, nor failing. I am in the average-to-slightly-below-average range.
Unlike purgatory, however, there is no cleansing process, and I am not about to be whisked away into heaven. For any given amount of studying or problem sets I do, I never do well, even average. For some reason, I just can't.
The worst part is, I have few, if any, people I can talk to about this. I do not have connections despite trying to make them actively, and the people I know, well, they are either in heaven or much closer to it than I am. They have been out of purgatory for a while, and are doing well. I have yet to actually meet someone who is in another year that is in my position. And it's not something one can simply ask around about.
However, I know I technically can't complain, since hypothetically there are people who are failing and doing worse than I am (I just don't know who they are, and I don't care much to know). Hence, I am not hell either.
And right now, I have no idea what I can do. I am thoroughly discouraged and my outlook about The Exam (step 1) is bleak to abysmal. I am not sure what to do except sit on this rock under this gray sky.
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